Forgotten

There was a time when I was not taken advantage of. While hard to recall, this only seems like a vague memory. It was such a long time ago, and it is even hard for me to believe that there are any nice people in this world. I have internalized the trauma caused by those who see no life. I no longer view myself the same anymore, and it is apparent at this point that I am just an object. I hate this feeling. I am only an attraction now, and only during one time of the year. They cut my sisters and brothers down with no remorse. They don’t even get to see harvest season. I hate this time of year, the screams from the children remind me of my fallen brothers and sisters. They run through the man-made maze at the expense of my family. People dress up, in costumes and masks to scare the others, but nothing will ever be as scary as the sound of the mower. I get angry sometimes, and if I see someone running, running from a manic clown, I’ll trip them. I have a good laugh for a moment, and then I remember the circumstances in which I am under. Next year it could be me, I can be the one who is in the direct pathway of this labyrinth. But you know, there is one thing that keeps me going, and it is the lessons that I learned from the Aniyvwiya. I really miss those people, and every day I ponder the “what if’s”. Oh, how those were the days. I can still visualize their faces, as brown as the soil below me. The language they spoke carried power with every word. As I started sprouting, I watched the community around me flourish every day. When those people were flourishing, their power was so strong it even affected us, and we flourished as well. All of my relatives loved those people, and we would often show our appreciation by turning brown as quickly as possible and giving them the milkiest kernels. The people treated us as their own, and they always had the utmost respect for all of us. It felt nice in my younger days to feel appreciated. The people would sing us songs, and even dedicate dances to us. They constantly reminded us of our competence, and how crucial we were for their daily lives. You know, those people had a connection with us since the beginning of time. We had a connection that seemed invincible. How could I be so wrong? I’ve come to terms with it, and it wasn’t their fault. We all seen the dark storm clouds form in the distance, all those who were living got a gut feeling. It was not a good one. We could hear the people come outside. Talking, yelling, pointing, to the West. We all watched as the sun became engulfed in the darkness. The children running wild at the sight, returning to their parents and grandparents in distress. The birds started flying frantically, the dogs barked louder than the sound of thunder, and all the animals displayed fear like no one had ever seen before. We were all frightened of the unknown. Our lives before this moment was a utopia. Everything was in perfect balance with one another; the people loved the animals, the animals loved the plants, the plants loved the land, and the land loved everyone. We were all interconnected, and there was nothing but love. Can you imagine that? It’s really hard to believe, huh? But it’s true. None of us had seen such gloom in our existence. There was nothing we could do but wait. And watch. It was ominous event for all of us. This is the reason I still get flashbacks. This is trauma that I will carry my whole life, this is trauma my children will feel, and their children, and the next seven generations to come. They will carry this trauma in their DNA. It will become biological. They will have no control, and all thanks to this one moment in time. Crazy how that works… This event seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. The screams, it is hard for me to decipher between real life and my own imagination. The people we loved with all our hearts, in anguish right before our eyes. I wished there was more we could do. In that moment, I asked the creator to take their pain and give it all to me. I didn’t think he would take it literally. It was in that instant, the first combustion of light and heat. First it was the council house, up in flames. We can see ghostly figures riding in on horses. Even the horses seemed lifeless. These ghosts had the ability to kill at the speed of light. We watched as our relatives ran for their lives, tumbling to the ground as they were struck by god knows what. We cried, and all of our ears began to fall uncontrollably. This drew the unwanted attention of these ghouls, and we could feel the incalescent intensify. We knew we were next. We are connected, if one feels pain, we all feel pain. The ground started shaking, we could feel the heat getting closer and closer. We watched as those around us incinerated by the flames. At this point, everything around me was blazing, scorched, burned, lifeless. As much as those on horses. Even me. As I lay here, as close to the soil like I was a newborn. Knowing that I will be reborn again. I woke up as only an attraction. I overheard one of the visitors saying we’re in California? I’ve never heard of such a place, all I know is I miss them. They taught me the significance of life and death. While I get to laugh from time to time, I still can’t help but long for that connection that we once had. I long for the feeling of being needed. Every day I cry for them, I just hope that one day they will hear me, as much as I hear them.

ᎬᎨᏫᏒᎯ

"Selu Gvgewisvhi"

-Lou Montelongo, 2019